I recently read an article in The Guardian which asked the question: why, if vegetarians can be catered for on restaurant menus, can’t there be a separate section for pregnant women too? After all, we are told that we can’t eat this and we shouldn’t eat that. It’s not just a life-style choice, it’s vital to the health of a whole other person. It got me thinking…
When you’re pregnant you are special. Hands up who didn’t enjoy the attention, the fuss and the special dietary requirements, in the beginning anyway. It’s nice to feel special and to garner attention because you are in a special position. You are busy making eyebrows an stuff. It’s tiring. You deserve special treatment. Yet, you can’t go out to dinner because there might be unpasterusied cheese or nuts in the food…
I suppose it depends on how seriously you take all the government guidelines. One thing is clear though- pregnancy makes you special, whether you like it or not.
When I was pregnant with my daughter, I ate everything under the sun. Seriously, I had one hell of an appetite. Looking back to my son’s pregnancy though, things were a little different. Ok, so morning sickness for the first seven months didn’t help much, but I don’t really remember feeling that special. Frightened and anxious was more likely to be on the menu this time around. I found myself scared to even look at peanut butter incase my baby was affected and if I did risk the odd finger dip, I was wracked with guilt afterwards.
I had a menu planned for the day I was to bring him home from the hospital. It included runny eggs, pate and champagne. I couldn’t wait.
I waited for that special feeling. You know, when people come to visit you and the baby and they ask you how you are. It never happened. Oh, people came but they didn’t really want to know how I was feeling, even though they asked. They were really only interested in the baby. I couldn’t understand it. I guess when you’ve had a traumatic birth, that special feeling just doesn’t get a look in.
So what do you think about the pregnancy menu idea? It would help to make mums-to-be feel even more special, but what about when the pregnancy is over and the limelight has shifted? How special do you really feel with aching boobs, bags under your eyes the size of binliners and baby sick in your hair?
You should feel really special. You made that person that keeps vomiting in your hair. You created those lungs that scream at night and keep the whole family awake.
I couldn’t see it at the time. My son’s birth affected me to the point that I started to mourn my pregnancy. I wanted my bump back. I wanted my maternity clothes. I wanted to keep avoiding pate and wine and to keep taking my ante-natal vitamins. I didn’t want to have the baby yet. I wanted to feel special again.
I never realised what I had, at first. Now I cherish every day with my beautiful kids and I try to remember just how special I really am.
I couldn’t agree more with Susanne. I know so many women who’ve been made to feel like goddesses throughout their pregnancy, but suddenly feel like a spare part once the baby is here (and it’s often the in-laws who are the worst perpetrators, I hate to say…). I don’t suppose many mothers want to steal the limelight from their baby, but our efforts do get forgotten once we’ve given birth.
I guess this is what things like Mother’s Day are for, but I’d happily forego ONE day of rememberance in favour of a tiny bit every day! Selfish? Maybe, but I made a WHOLE PERSON!
A really honest and interesting article. I can’t identify with it myself as I felt the opposite really. I still felt under the microscope as an NICU mum. Are YOU eating properly? Are YOU getting enough sleep? Are YOU coping? I just wanted to scream “never mind ME, just take care of my baby!!!” Of course they were watching out for signs that NICU might crack, and of course not provide the best quality breast milk, so vital they said for my baby’s recovery (for want of a better word). But no, I felt the opposite. I missed my bump, but I wanted to forget the hell that had been my pregnancy and labour. I had a special baby with special care requirements that could possibly die. Unless I was being updated by doctors or nurses I really just wanted to be invisible to everyone outside that incubator.
Just shows how each and every mum’s experience is different. I’d love there to be a next time so I can feel all all goddess-diva for a while.
. Such an honest account though, it made for really fascinating reading x
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@MummyBeadzoid I never even considered your point of view- sorry!- but like you say we are all different. I literally pined for my pregnancy because I wanted to go back and do the birth again. I really felt invisible after he was born, it wasn’t until he was a lot older that people started to notice I wasn’t exactly coping well. Thanks so mcuh for your comments
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